Dumb and Dumber But Dumber (NSFL)
by FurryFoxy
Summary: Lloyd does a really bad thing, and Jesus doesn't like it very much...and there's also a cat named Mini Harry.
1. Lloyd's Sexual Sin

WARNING: Do not read this if your under 13, or have Christian parents.

You have been warned.

It was 2002, and Lloyd and harry were doing stuff in their expensive ass house that had a cool ass kitchen. "Hey haaaaarrrrrrryyyy?" Loyd ask. Floyd was a man with brown hair and green eye, his hair was short but fluffy and shaped like a LEGO figure's.

Harry had shaggy golden hair and pretty blue eyes. The two had "cowboy" outfits on. Lloyd had taken his yellow gloves off cos they make his hands hot. "Wot?" Harry say.

"your hair looks like a haystack, Har." Lloyd played with his hair and it make him laugh.

"no Lloyd no!" harry slap his hands out of the way.

(fuk i have zero idea for this fanfic..)

Lloyd stop and say "OK" with a stupid grin on his face, revealing his broken tooth.

The round faced man was confused, he thought he was acting nice. but suddenly harry speak out. "waaayyy back when i first got to marys house,I felt something shift around in my belly and instantly knew i had to take a huge shit. Did you do anything to me to make that happen, Lloyd?" harry asked. Lloyd got this..."feeling" in his gut, he had spiked harry's tea with laxatives but didn't wanna tell him the truth even though it happened like, _7 years ago. _"I, uh...it was _expired?_" he lied.

"god i farted so much on that toilet." harry recalled. "my guts sounded like a lion trying to swim in liquid shit." he continued. "And earlier that day I ate the hottest pepper ever, I don't even think I can imitate the squeal i let out due to how much it hurt. I didn't even have to push that hard, it just came out so quickly, I didn't even care what kinda noises came outta my ass. " harry faced Lloyd directly. "I swear it was that pepper, man. I chickened out and swallowed it when I knew I shouldn't have." he looked down to the ground, feeling a little shameful. "Don't feel a shamed harry." Floyd said, putting a hand on his back. "I did that once too." "Really?!" harry was shocked, did Loyd shit himself silly too once?! "Yeah man, I was sick." "Oh i think i remember now, ha ha." Harry said.

he giggled, when remembering Lloyd scream "oh lord oh Jesus." while shitting. "hey its not funny!" Floyd says. Lloyd left and go to the bedroom while Harry stayed on the couch, now laying down and looking sleepy. Lloyd jumped onto the bed, and thought about Harry's upset stomach gurgling, and how he must've been holding and rubbing it. If only he was there to hear and see his bloated gut and how rounded out must have gotten. This gave Lloyd an uncomfortable feeling from his stomach down to his legs. He blinked twice and furrowed his brows.

"Oh lord forgive me for what I'm about to do..." He said, looking off to the side.

He sighed with shame. "Here goes nothing I guess." Lloyd unzipped his fly, and took his underwear and pants off. His belt hit the floor, and he looked up ass naked with a horrified expression on his face fearing that the noise woke up his blond haired pal, Harry was lying on the couch with his eyes shut. So he was probably (hopefully) asleep. Lloyd grabbed his...uh..._thing and did...you know._

"Oh fuck man, oh fuck." he said, euphoria coursing threw his veins. "God Jesus forgive me for my sins oh Harry I want to touch and hear your bloated Turbo LAX belly dammit, God please let it happen someday, let it happen let it happen, let it _huh, uh, aah, ooh, mm mm, oomph_-_fuck-_" Lloyd's breathing got heavier as he got closer to his limit. "God dammit...oh shit!" The bowl-haired man let loose on the floor. His breathing got shallow and normal again. He regained his sanity and yawned. "Suck me sideways, ooh boy." He said. "I've got the 'Shaking Breaking Down's' man. Wooooooooo." He wailed. He got all his clothes back on, acting like he didn't just cock his "rifle" to the thought of Harry's stomach. "Man, all that jerkin' of gherkins has made me work up an appetite. Lloyd jumped off the bed and went to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. "Bread, lettuce, roast pork, chipotle sauce, more bread and ah huh! A perfect turkey Sammy!" He dug into it while recalling his little..."session" "Man, I haven't touched myself that hard since I was 16 years old." Lloyd suddenly looked to the side when he heard a noise and saw that **HARRY WAS AWAKE**. "Oh, uh Harry nice to see your up now, hehe." He was very worried that Harry heard him in there. Harry sat up and pointed in front of the bed. "Lloyd what's that?" He asked. "What's what?" He responded. "That white fluid splattered all over the bedroom floor." He continued. "Uh, nothing." Lloyd said, lying through his chipped teeth.

"Lloyd, did you-" "Harry!" He said, interrupting him. "I did nothing, I swear it's just dirt." Harry knew what that substance was, but he wasn't going to embarrass the brown haired man anymore. He let him continue eating without any trouble.

Lloyd looked at him, regretting his previous action...but god was Harry beautiful. His eyes were a radiant azure blue, and his fluffy blond hair was oh so soft to the touch. "Uh, Lloyd. Why are you looking at me like that?" Harry asked. "Cause your so...pretty." Harry blushed. "Oh shucks, your making me blush Lloyd." He smirked and giggled softly. Harry's laugh was so cute and child-like, especially when he laughed so hard he started wheezing. Lloyd regretted giving him laxatives so much now, Or did he...kinda wanna lay on his belly? Who knew, what Lloyd did know was how Harry was so fucking adorable he just wanted to squeeze his cheeks and hug him and protect him from all forms of danger.

Lloyd took his sandwich with him, and sat with the blond haired man. "Harry you're have given me a new fetish!" Harry narrowed his eyes. "What?" He ask, confused.

"Uh, nothing i said nothing Harry Berry." "Harry Berry?" He laughed. (mmm ~"

Lloyd turned away, still feeling oh so regretful. "Hey, look over there!" Said Harry, knowing he was sad about something. It was a box, a patterned box with a bow on top. Lloyd went up to it, he heard scratching noises through it. "What is this Harry? How long has it been here for?" "Since yesterday evening." He responded. Lloyd opened it up and out jumped an orange cat. "Oh Harry I love it!" He ran back to his deal ol friend and hugged the new found cat friend. "It's name is Mini Harry." That just made Lloyd's heart melt a ton!

"HARRY I..MMMMMMMMMM" He hugged him, with the cat sandwiched between the two. Lloyd held the cat up with pride. "I LOVE YOU SO-" Only for the cat to fart watery diarrhea all over the floor. "Shit" Lloyd said, "I'll go get the paper towels.

While Lloyd cleaned the mess up, Harry was zoning out again. Just being Harry.


	2. Cat Time

Mini Harry had ran under the couch, avoiding the universe and thinking to himself like the cat he was. Lloyd finished cleaning the mess on the floor, and sat down with Harry Bear again. Lloyd finally got to put his hands on Harry's belly. "YES" He thought. It was so squishy and his blue and brown shirt was so silky and smooth. But then his belly made a small gurgle. Harry giggled at it. "Lloyd that sandwich, it's making me hungry." Lloyd obey and gave Harry the food. But suddenly, Lloyd looked down and saw the cat looking at his dick...which was getting a little hard from Harry. "OH SHIT" he thought to himself. Lloyd tried to think about cats instead of Harry. And thankfully it worked! "Phew" he thought once more.

He continued rubbing Harry's soft gut while he ate. He could feel it going up, and then down again as he breathed, but that cat had hopped up onto Lloyd's back. "Ow!" He said, as the cat jumped away, into the kitchen. "what?" Asked Harry. "Come on, keep strokin' me like a cat, I could purr for you." He joked. "Uh, okay that would be amazing!"

Lloyd continued stroking Harry's belly, making him laugh because it tickled.

Harry's adorable laugh encouraged Lloyd to keep doing it.

Meanwhile, the cat had peed on the floor and was sleeping next to the piss puddle.

Harry was laughing so hard he was making that iconic wheezing noise that made Lloyd feel so happy. But then he farted, which made him laugh EVEN HARDER. "Ew, Harry I think you shit." "Hah, aaah I didn't shit Lloyd." Said Harry, catching his breath. "What's gotten into you though, you've never cuddled me this hard before."

Lloyd blushed, how was he suppose to do this...how could he?

How could Lloyd say "I love you" TO A **MAN**?! 

But said man was so frickn cute that it kinda slipped out. "harry I love you!" Lloyd suddenly shouted, only to freeze in fear. "Aw, Lloyd that makes me blush." Harry hugged him, which made the brown haired man blush even harder. Harry's sad and "hound-like" eyes were interlocked with Lloyd's. The two began to kiss and hug on the couch, full on love between the two dumbasses was happening. The cat took it's pissy ass to the living room, but it went to the corner and pooped. If it could speak i'd say "HA! GAAAAYYYYY!".


	3. sex?

But cats can't talk idiot, so it said nothing, not even "meow". But wait where were we? Oh yeah, GAY PORN!

Harry grabbed Lloyd's round ass and pinch, "AAAAAAAAAA" Lloyd said.

Lloyd suddenly got hard, and fall off of harry and landed on the floor. Harry noticed Lloyd's...uh thingy and get weirder out.

Lloyd's belly was heaving up and down, his...thing went back down though thankfully haha.

Harry couldn't help but notice his round, adorable face.

Lloyd's face was very cute, Harry wanted to look at it forever.

Lloydie was such a cutie pie and mmmmm yeah baby.

Sadly, 6ft 2 160 pound Lloyd was getting sleepy though, he fart sexily. "Sorry I ate Taco Bell yesterday Harry." "It's okay Lloydy" Said Harry.

His stomach go "ejwejowwpwkslfj2[30" at Harry. "Is that a challenge?" Harry saying while get off the couch and push on Lloyd's gut. "Harry! Stop your gonna make me HAHAHAHAHAH" He tickle him and shit, cause sexy. "Lloooooyd your cute little belly button of yours needs to be touched." Harry said. "AAAH NO" Lloyd was so tickly and cute that harry just couldn't help it. Mini Harry walked out and went "What the fuck?" In cat language.

"Harry, fuck me." harry got off of the brown haired green eyed bi man. "Ew no." Lloyd sat up, lift up Harry's chin and tell him. "Hush my love, I have no time for fuck. Give me that belly." Lloyd obey and open up his shirt. "YES" Harry screamed. He stick his finger in, but take it out and go back on the couch. "This is so boring, I want to watch some anime Fortnite roleplay." Harry get his computer on and turn the anime on. "Nooooo! Don't you want my delicious ass, harry?" Lloyd asked. "Not yet." He turned back to anime, leaving poor Lloyd Christmas in the dust. "mmm sexy fortnite ass." he said.

"Harry my tummy is hungry for yo love." Lloydie say. "yeah i like fortniet more lloydie, you cute as fuck though senpai." Lloyd sit next to harry after closing his shirt back up.

Okay so lloyd went to the kitchen to eat more food, the floor was sticky with cat pizz but he didnt care. He make himself a milkshake with chocolate ice cream and drink it all up!

He did this two more times. Lloyd was so full he undid his belt. Letting his pants slide off much easier mmm.) He stayed in the kitchen, kinda sad that Harry had turned to fuckin FORTENIGT!

Lloyd was basically a twink, but no body wanna frick him. Cause he stupid (i'd fuck him personally tbh)

So he was sad :( and lonely. But honestly he knew that Harry had a surprise for him later, he was so exicted to let it loose in the bed again like be-Or not. Lloyd feared that Jesus would take him to hell for touching himself to the thought of a man. "AAAAAAH" he said. Harry had no clue what happening and look at kitchen. "Well then, I guess Fortenite isn't god enof for me anymore. Lllllloooooydddieeee pie!~" He called. The man ran out and go squee. "Harry I cannot sin anymore, im sorry no nut for now." He said, sadly. "But Lloyd, god hates us already. It's okay. So let your fetishes fly." Lloyd looked at Harry's beautiful, beeeaauutiful stare. His eyes so blue and pretty, and his hair...so soft.

He went back and touch that hair, so soft and cute! Harry was so cuuuuutte! And so pretty and snugly! AAAH.


End file.
